Wednesday July 31st

Today we watched as Solomon gave a lecture on Heidegger's Being and Time. I found it spot on with my current beliefs and current philosophy. I really liked how he said that Earth no longer feels like home to human beings and it is the advances and abundance in technology that makes that happen. This material gave me a lot of motivation to pick up the book and read. I really liked this material, I do believe we are living in a world that lacks a sense of togetherness, and love. I believe the main reason this is, is because of technology. Technology has taken away moments from us that create bonds, bonds that strengthen relationships, and these moments are slowly disappearing, technology takes away from human interaction, and replaces it with something superficial. As human beings we're meant to express, we're meant to adventure, and we're meant to appreciate every moment with one another.

From Being and Time

"The ‘external world’ sceptic feels an abyss to open up between
herself and the world, a sense of its insignificance or nothingness;
she experiences a hollow at the heart of reality, and a sense of herself
as not at home in the world. The ‘other minds’ sceptic feels an abyss
to open up between herself and others, as if their thoughts and feelings were withdrawing unknowably behind their flesh and blood,
as if she truly were confronted by hollowed out bodies, mere matter
in motion; she experiences herself as alone in the world."

Tuesday July 30th

Existentialism has allowed us to explore and understand that psychological and emotional depth/knowledge come at a great price, and that price is loneliness. Unfortunately, we live in a society where everyone is plugged into technology, this technology has dehumanized us, as human beings we're meant to express ourselves and constantly feel emotion. We live in a superficial society, a society that lacks a sense of togetherness, community, and love. We're meant to share real moments, moments that create bonds, that strengthen relationships, and now those moments are non existent. Before you read this, ask yourself; What happened to walking into that coffee shop and catching eyes with that guy or girl and just knowing you have to have that person in your life? Where is the magic? Where is the adventure? Heidegger explains this exactly what makes Earth not feel like home.

Friday, July 26th

Today I had a crazy dream and very intense mind set, I was very emotionally in-tune, and felt so many things, my mind was like having 2000 tabs open on Internet Explorer. Working the previous night didn't help either, I got off work at 4am and got to bed at 5am, it was a very weird day, my job really holds me back and messes me up, but I have to pay rent somehow, I guess this is reality. I really liked this week's reading, it really helped me gain a different perspective on my currently held views, I hope next week's readings are just as interesting and open up all of our minds. This classroom environment is amazing, and the people in the class are very smart, I am looking forward to Monday's class.

Thursday July 25th

Today we continued our discussion on Nietzsche, I believe there are days I have multiple personalities, and one of my personalities is the slave, and the other personality is the master.  I believe this very structure that Nietzsche implements in his writings is exactly how modern day America works, 97% of America is fine with the mediocre job, mediocre car, and the mediocre house, regardless of if they are happy with where they are or not, they will find a way to justify it and move on, where as the master mentality is exactly opposite, no matter how powerful, no matter how wealthy, or successful, there is no end to it, they keep pushing, enough is never enough. My first question is, who is happier, the people with the slave mentality, or the people with the master mentality? My second question is, which is living behind illusion the most?

Wednesday July 24th

Today we continued our conversation on the good and bad vs the good and evil. I believe the sole difference on the good and bad is that the good in this comparison is the choice to make a good or bad decision, something that anyone can do, even an evil person. I believe the good in the comparison of good and evil is something that one is born with, it is the basic natural instinct of the human being. I believe Nietzsche's example of the bird and the sheep proves this. If the bird kills the sheep to survive the killing is justified and the bird is not evil or bad, but if the bird just kills the sheep for the sake of killing it then I believe this is evil. Another great point is brought up, he states that the sheep will ALWAYS view the bird as bad, because in the eyes of the sheep the bird is killing the innocent good sheep, this shows that good, bad, and good, evil is all a matter of perspective.

Tuesday July 23rd

Today's topic was nietzche's gay science. I think what he was trying to say was that a new age of science was being introduced, and that it was replacing religion. The herd only follows, it is the leader that makes the transition, and that is the madman's job. I believe that in order for science to fully replace religion people must rethink their morality, but to rethink one's morality is to let go of one's humanity. I believe this explains how people's ideas and perspectives change, it takes a leader to guide them out of simple though and to expand their minds. During this time period a new way of understanding the world was coming, and this new understanding would free people, it would allow them to do and be whatever they wanted rather than being a slave to their current beliefs. The madman's job was to guide them out.

Monday July, 22

Monday was a good class discussion, we talked about what Clamence and Kierkegaard would say to each other if they ever ran into one another. I believe they would be stubborn and would never actually come up with any conclusion to whose right or wrong. I thought this was a very interesting topic to bring up, and I thought it created a great atmosphere for conversation, especially when Hessy and Joe went at it. Everyday it gets harder and harder to involve myself, mainly because, right now I'm going through a rough patch and can't seem to connect with my emotional side, I seem to be living in the moment and dealing with my emotions as they come rather than analyzing and preparing for them before hand. I know being manic sounds a lot better than being down and depressed, but truth is, when I'm down and depressed I find myself having more emotional depth, I am more susceptible to certain truths that I am blinded by when I am in a frenzied and excited mood (manic).

Friday July, 19th.

Today I got out of the hospital. For my second time this year I hit a fever of 105.5 degrees. I was delusional and had insane visuals. Life is so short, one day you think you know it all, the next day something drastic happens and from basic instinct you're forced to change your views, your perspective just so you can justify what has happened and move on. I know nothing, all I can do is try my best. For years I have wondered why, why do I do what I do at school, what am I trying to do in life. What happened to that special group of friends that love each other unconditionally, and instead of going out to drink at bars, they go into grandmother's basement and conduct experiments that will one day change the world. What happened to catching eyes with that special person in your life in the coffee shop or out on a bike ride, where is that passion, ambition and motivation? Where is the unknown. This life that I am living, it's too cold, it's too empty, I need to find the magic in this world. I need to find that cave deep in the uncharted forests in the world that lead me to that one single moment of happiness, that one single moment of losing myself.

"Not all who wander are lost"

Thursday July 18th

I like to experience things. I like to put myself on the highest of mountains, and dive into the deepest of hells. I think all we have on this cold, cruel planet is perspective. When I took this class I was in a dark place, and I was ready to talk, I'm not sure if any of you remember the first day of class when I explained how I felt about this world, and the life I live. Unfortunately, I am not in the same mindset, I don't even remember how I felt or who i was that day and it makes me so sad. I am currently in this frenzied state of mind, and I feel so brainless, my thoughts are clouded, my mind is clouded, I can't give a good argument. I am not in the mindset I want to be, and this happens to me every 4-6 months. I wake up with new taste, new clothing choices, new food, new hobbies, new friends, and even though I can see something is changing intuitively, even though I understand what is changing and I can write it down on this blog post, I cannot change the positive and negative emotions that come with those changes. I don't know who I am, I don't know what are lies or what is truth anymore. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it'd be nice to have a mentor right about now.

Monday July 15th

Clamence is a smart being, he understands "it". By "it" I mean he understands the fundamentals and mechanics of how people are. He knows what to say, when to say it, how to say it, he knows your own weakness when you do not even know it yourself. Who is Clamence? What is Clamence? Understanding "it" comes at a great price, and that price is sanity. While reading I couldn't help but wonder if is he my leader; is he in this text to lead me to the answers to my questions, or is it all another lie, perhaps the lie is what teaches me and guides me to the truth. Clamence is able to do this, because he has a great understanding of himself. In a sense, he knows, because he's experienced.

Thursday July 11th

Today, I finally spoke up and went from Tier 1 to Tier 2 to Tier 3 in a matter of minutes. People didn’t seem to agree with me that we needed some sort of accepted foundation of what counts as reality and what does not, in other words, what we know as real and what has enough doubt worth speculating. No one wanted this and I believe that’s because people can’t settle with it being this simple, this cold. They want an answer, but they don’t want the real answer, they want the answer they’ve already come up with in their mind. Everyone here thinks they’re different, and that is a human beings downfall. All I proposed was what G.E. Moore proposed, we need not look at the hand and question whether this is a hand, we need to accept that this is a hand and move on toward the implications of the hand; what the hand can do to create, fix, or accomplish any task. Without this we will never get anywhere in this class, so far we’ve only questioned, we've created at least 1000 hypotheticals but have not taken one to its end. I find this desperate, and unrealistic.

“There are some people, who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.”

Foundation and Grounds

People who don't want to hear the answers they want to hear, just keep creating more and more hypothetical until they hear what they want to hear. We need to ask one question, explore it fully, and get the best answer possible before moving forward to the next. The thing is, existentialism has very few, if not, no right or wrong answers. With this being said, I believe we need to take it slow, answer each question as it comes up and by doing this we'll have some sort of grounds or foundation to answer the following question. We keep answering each different question with a different set of ground rules. I don't see how anything will ever be figured out or agreed upon. I am looking forward to this class, everyone seems to be on a good wave length, and everyone seems eager to answer questions they may have had for long time. I really enjoy the structure of this class and I believe, especially at our age, these are the classes we need. School and making something of yourself in this cruel and cold world is already stressful enough, but going to class like a machine and not having the luxury of connecting to classmates or to the professor makes things a lot worse. This is why I'm very optimistic about the impact this class will have on me and others. I really do appreciate it.

Tuesday July 9th

Today we talked about passion, emotion, and rationality from the story, “The Stranger”. I believe Mersault lived life, he was not cursed with the level of consciousness that most of us have. The problem is only very few live anymore. People are constantly setting high expectations for each situation and they’re always let down and by the time they realize their expectation didn't matter, and that it was the appreciation of the moment that is important, the moment is gone and sadness sets in. We think too much, we don’t do. Assuming we are psychopaths, we need to act more on passion rather than over thinking a situation. I believe the reason this is very rare is because of the technological age that we are living in. We now have the time to think, prepare, and plan on what we're going to say when someone texts, or instant messages us. This creates a lot of problems, first, it creates a very distant and cold relationship between the two people, and secondly, it allows for people to lie about their true feelings much easier. I really believe if we lived in a world where people did more "doing" than talking, we'd live in a happier time.

Wednesday July 3rd

Today we sat down and introduced ourselves to each other. I thought this exercise was great especially since now days it feels like we've lost that sense of togetherness and community. As each person told me about themselves I felt a connection slowly build up from the ground, by the time we got to the last person this connection was everywhere, it filled the room and it was in that single moment that I realized we were all now ready to really begin this class. This how class should be, it allows us to connect to people and the professor, this enables us to learn more and to establish a connection that is very important in life. We live in a time where moments like these are a rarity, and I believe we need to make the best of it. Everyone here seems to have a front including myself, but deep down I know we're all broken in one way or another. Hopefully we can build an even stronger connection, and ultimately help heal each other's wounds.