The last day of class

Today we held class at Boulders bar and grill, I made sure not to eat anything just so I could enjoy my last supper with my fellow classmates. I ordered the Arizona something burger, it wasn't actually called the Arizona something burger, I just forgot the name of it. Anyhow, the burger was delicious, until I actually finished it, then regret and a bad stomach set in. I don't know why I haven't learned my lesson, I should have learned my lesson when ordering the milk shakes at smash-burger with Thad. After my "pleasant" meal, we discussed what we thought existentialism meant, my definition went something like this; A way of perceiving the world that emphasizes the uniqueness and loneliness of an individual's experience in a cold, and uncaring world. I probably should have added in something about taking ownership. We then went on to discuss what we got from the class, and to be fairly honest, what I got from the class seemed to differ from everyone else. After 25 days of class, (22 days since I missed 3), I realized it is a gift and a curse to have this level of consciousness, awareness, and understanding on your own actions, and decisions. I enjoy analyzing every situation, and asking why or how, or what if, but sometimes, even the smartest of people need to put aside the questions, and just smell the roses. It is important to appreciate every moment and everyone, especially since today's world is slowly losing its sense of togetherness and love. I love you class, and I love you Thad!

Monday Aug 12

Today we talked about facticity, transcendence, and the judgement of others. The question of the day was would people rather live through path A or path B. One of the paths lives by the "truth" in a sense or in other words it tries to find a balance between facticity, transcendence, and others judgements, while the other is immersing oneself in deception to be happy. I believe most of us are living in bad faith, but I believe path A is a journey to path B. Since there is no way of knowing what objective truth is when it comes to meaning of life, for all we know, any meaning that we find in our lives could just be another deception, illusion or justification. With that being said, I believe we all live in path A, until we take ownership, find why or what we live for, and eventually transcend to path B. Whether it is deception, or not, doesn't matter, what matters is that we believe we've found a meaning, or an answer to life, and we begin to live happily, free from the judgement of others.

Friday the 13th, not really though, Friday the 9th

Today talked about facticity and transcendence. I tend to live heavy on the transcendence side, because I'm a dreamer, I always think set expectations, and want things over night, when in reality (facticity) this is not how it works. I admitted today that I was practicing bad faith. We had two example, the guilty homosexual, and the woman on a date. Both of these people were practicing bad faith, they were both aware and unaware that they are free. One was heavy on the facticity and the other on transcendence, but both people lacked having both facticity and transcendence. Both the guilty homosexual and the lady on a date had a separation between facticity and transcendence that led them to their demise, and ultimately to living a life of bad faith.

Emotion

I too, like Sartre, agree that emotions can be controlled. Although, before they can be controlled the specific individual must first take ownership of his/her actions. Only after this can one really start to see some kind of control over their own emotions. First we need to look at why or how emotions are released, if we speak literally, then, it is a chemical reaction in the mind and that RELEASE can not be controlled, we do not possess that sixth sense that would allow us to consciously release a certain chemical in our brain when we want to; but what IS controlled is our perspective, or perhaps, how we CHOOSE to see the world. How we see the world is OUR choice. Many will argue that how we see the world is the end result of a human experience and that we have no control over what we get out of each experience. My argument, assuming we have no control over the result of our experiences, states that even if we have no control over the end result of each experience, this is irrelevant in respect to emotion, it is only relevant if we were arguing if we could choose which perspectives we could or could not gain at any given time. So, to put this all together, human experiences, even if not controlled, lead to perspectives or views on the world, these views can be changed at any given time when reflected upon; so if different emotions are released based on how we view the world and if how we view the world is in our control then we can control our emotions by controlling how we view the world.

When one looks at an object does one first feel emotion and then conclude that this is a certain object, or does one first consciously acknowledge the object, and then based on what view one has on the object, a emotion is released.

Lets take a look at Thad's example, when he puts the essay assignment on the board, we didn't all look at it and feel something, we had to first understand what the sentence meant, and then subconsciously, based on our current views or standing in the class, we then felt a certain emotion.

One justifies the other, and the other works for both sides.

I always believed that essence preceded existence, but after experiencing some of the things I have gone through, I truly agree with Sartre. Existence precedes essence. The problem I have with essence preceding existence is that it can easily be used as a justification to any wrong decision made, it allows the person who is making a decision to dodge its consequence and to ultimately avoid taking responsibility. I believe essence preceding existence is used to justify any negative outcome of existence preceding essence. Therefore, I believe the way one should live, (regardless of what they believe), is believing that existence precedes essence, because it works for both sides, even if one believes that essence precedes existence they should still live life in the mannerisms that are produced by existence preceding essence. Then there is no need to justify, one can credit his/her good life to either belief. Whereas if one lives life believing essence precedes existence, I believe they will be prone to giving into sin.

Fantasy vs Reality

Adventure has taken a backseat to cheap pleasure. As much as I want to talk about today's discussion, I have so much emotion built up. We as a society are so plugged into technology, it has dehumanized us. As human beings we are meant to express, but instead, we choose to text message or to instant message over social networking sites, the problem this brings up is that it creates a certain sense of deception, people now have the time to think about their answers rather then going with how they feel at that very moment, people can also lie much easier, put up fronts, this all takes away from the a certain realness that I believe we humans crave deep down. This is an example I tend to use a lot, and it's a simple question, "what happened to walking into that local coffee shop, and catching eyes with that one person, and just knowing, I want to be friends or more with this person?" These interactions are very rare if not non-existent, we have lose a sense of togetherness, a sense of community, we have lost our ability to express to one another, I am just so confused to how anyone can justify this and move on with their life.

My life has killed a dream I dreamed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjDojEOiMcE - Great song, check it out.

The first day of class I told everyone how I felt, after that something happened, I just wasn't me, I started to live in the moment, not care, and get sucked into technology --- I became the person that I so dearly despise --- for some reason tonight I am back to how I was the first day of class, and I feel so alive but so alone. I just don't get how reality can be this cold, how can be it be this simple? Where is that girl you bump into accidentally that eventually leads to a great friendship or love, where is that best friend that is there for you no matter what? Where is the meaning? Where is the magic in this world? Where are the moments that create connections, that create bonds, that create love and make it stronger? I need something more than this, I need something to fill this void.